Photos & Stories – Leaning out for Love


A few weeks ago I was working on a photo project with my brother Kris, and he convinced Jeff and I to stand for a few photos of our own. Here we are. Older, fatter, and happier than I ever could have imagined we would be when I daydreamed about our future together, way back in 1993.

He made me a playlist that I can’t stop swooning over. Classic rock and not so obvious love songs. One of the songs was a total surprise, one I had never heard before. This:

“And you want to travel with him,
And you want to travel blind,
And you think maybe you’ll trust him,
For he’s touched your perfect body with his mind.

Now Suzanne takes your hand and she leads you to the river,
She is wearing rags and feathers from Salvation Army counters,
And the sun pours down like honey on our lady of the harbor,
And she shows you where to look among the garbage and the flowers,
There are heroes in the seaweed, there are children in the morning,
They are leaning out for love and they will lean that way forever,
While Suzanne holds the mirror.

And you want to travel with her,
And you want to travel blind,
And you know that you can trust her,
For she’s touched your perfect body with her mind.”

-Suzanne by Leonard Cohen

It’s bewildering at times to realize how long we have known each other, and how many things we have been through in all those years, and how much I still just love the way he smells. He’s going bald, I have age spots and a bad hip, and that’s SO WEIRD because my favorite place is still right there in his neck. There have been bad years, of course, as there will be over the span of a lifetime. Years we went into therapy and years we could hardly communicate. Years raising our children almost killed us and years we almost killed each other. Fighting our way back together through those years, learning about what we needed to change about ourselves in therapy, taught us how to give each other what we have now.

After high school, I took his hand and traveled blind right into marriage and parenthood, and I am not that same person and he is not that same person but here we are. Here we are.

“They are leaning out for love and they will lean that way forever.”


Join the Conversation


  1. Oh Tara. This is magic. And I love the song too. Thank you for always sharing what’s real and for casting on light on such beautiful moments. Grateful to share these glimpses into your story. (@carohp)

  2. i love your words AND these shots!! my husband and i got married young, and started having children shortly after. here we are 12 years and 4 kids later, still going strong. it’s not always easy, but so worth it. i think you both look amazing!

  3. In our disposable world, this is refreshing. People who worked hard to stay married. So many people thing everything is going to be roses and flowers every day and when they hit a rough patch, they bail. This is such a nice read. Its a real read. Congrats on 20+ years together (we got married in 1993 so I can relate).

  4. Great post. And Leonard’s song is perfect. He is my favourite singer & songwriter. An amazing Canadian poet, Leonard Cohen’s writings speak so deeply about life. When I saw him in concert, I was moved to tears. Amazing man, amazing songs.Beautiful post. love is grand & comfortable at the same time.

  5. This is WHY your such a huge inspiration to Kris & I. Everything you’ve been through and knowing and seeing you both now….I couldn’t ask for a better role model for the man I’ll marry one day and couldn’t imagine my life without this love you have shared and shown me. It’s changed me completely and I’m so grateful to one day join your family.Love you so.

  6. Please please please write a book about your life journey so far. Your writing is always so amazing and conveying your story. I’d love to read it in book format with your beautiful photos!!
    (Sorry, I’ll stop fangirling now!)
    Cheers, Lee (long time reader of your blog, first time commenter!!).

  7. You are both so adorable!! Love hearing your love story, especially today, the eve of our 34th anniversary. We’re just home from a spontaneous get-away to the coast, busy plans interrupting our actual anniversary day, but after almost 34 years, we’re still so in love with one another too! Your new favorite song brings me back to when I was about 16 years old, babysitting, lounging on their leather sofa listening to this song for the first time and falling in love right there… sigh…

  8. I somehow found you in the Instagram world, ( ) and here I am scouring your blog. You are just so great. So inspiring. So real, and it’s refreshing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, talents, and life with me. This post made me smile. Xo, Shannon

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