What I like about Palm Springs is how it makes me feel like home.
I grew up in the desert. Mostly in rentals and trailer parks. Rocks, dirt, and tumbleweeds were my backyard. I never saw the beauty of it, instead I hated it, and got out as fast as I could by moving to it’s polar opposite: Santa Barbara.
There were memories wrapped up in the sights and smells of the desert that I was okay with forgetting.
For the past ten years I have lived in the neat and clean of the Orange, with its little boxes of suburbia, its close quarters and big intersections, its cool and temperate weather, and its perfectly coiffed landscaping. Sometimes over the last few years I have felt stifled, and claustrophobic, and like I don’t belong here. The expectation of perfection hovers over this place as much as the marine layer. The edge of the shore meeting the sand feels too final to me, instead of endless. Sometimes I need more room – not just physically – but wide open space for my head to breathe in.
And thus has begun our escapes into the desert. Just the two of us. Neither of us expected to love it so much.
I was always fascinated by the windmills as we passed through, traveling to Arizona or beyond. My dad hauled cars cross country, and at a very young age, I would sometimes go with him. Truck stops and open road and diesel fuel. Staring out the window, the huge fans just mesmerized me. They still do. They make me cry.
I think I have probably wanted to get out of the car and play under them my entire life. I finally did on this trip.
When Jeff and I were newly pregnant with Mckenna and living with his mom, he found a job as a process server, and his locations were Palm Springs and the surrounding cities. We had one car, a Honda Prelude, which we called The Blue Lude. It had a broken air conditioner. In the middle of summer, he would drive up there to work, and once or twice I went with him. The temps would hit upwards of 120 degrees, and being newly pregnant, I was barfy and miserable. I would walk into office buildings with him instead of waiting in the car, just to feel the relief of cold air. And then beg him for just a few more minutes of cool down before heading back out into the stifling heat of the car.
That’s how I felt this weekend.
Palm Springs was that relief of cold air you feel, after a day of sticking to your seats on the hottest day of the summer.
-Tara
amazing how rejuvenating a trip like this can be.
Awesome.. Love.
Glad you found some relief…just the two of you:)
I grew up in the deserts of Arizona.
I also took my turn living in a trailer park in the fourth grade.
I think our backyards must have looked the same.
I have also LOVED passing windmills…on our way too Price in UT…or between Park City and Evanston WY…We have always been on our way to another place. You’ve inspired me—next time I see them I will stop and play. Love it!
♥ love this ♥ i feel like i went on this trip with you :) (and I’m super jealous of your PanAm bag!!!!!!)
you inspire me.
I was there, too. This past week. For our 14th anniversary. And like you, I was in town for just one night. And for the first time, in a long time, I felt not just the love and connection that comes from being the only divers who truly know the wreck that we both live in, but the giggly kind of romantic love that once kept me an insomniac, craving just a few more hours in each day to fill with thoughts of him. It was a good week, a lucky week, to take a trip to the desert.
Ahh, swoon. Love the curtains, love, love, love. And I must have that Pan Am bag.
Oh Tara. That description makes me want to fly from London to the west coast, hire a car and just drive into the desert …
Aren’t those windmills just the best? Hope you guys got to stop for some date shakes, too. Happy Birthday! :)
I love love this!! The desert has a sooting effect on me, I become humble and learn how to breathe. It is so nice to be able to get away some times!
Dessert has it’s magic. You look so happy and relaxed. Nothing beats that!
Love this. I often feel the same way (claustrophobic-like). For me, I feel it most when my life feels too organized, planned and set in its ways. It’s then I want nothing more than to go hiking at midnight, take a last minute trip or plan a week away to Europe. Maybe it’s an artist’s heart. We’re always craving something new, unexpected and free. Good for you for just getting away to play for a small bit.
I live in OC too, and I agree there is something so magical about Palm Springs and the drive out there. It feels like it is worlds away. There’s an old school, timeless vibe, there’s the lighting in the morning and late afternoon, the mountains (which, for some reason, always surprise me even though I know they are there). I love the way you captured it in your photos and with your words.
Me love me some Palm Springs. Love your capture of it. And I agree, love the OC as I grew up in Fullerton my whole life, but darn… a bit too stuffy and the culture is definitely too conservative for my taste.
i love seeing the world through your eyes–it’s imperfection and beauty. xo
I just had to let you know that I’m viewing your work in the middle east and I’m loving it! Keep up the fabulous work!
Don’t know why, but your post just sent chills up my spine..good chills. You two look so peaceful.
i love it too and your pix :) xx
eye opening. you KNOW how much i hated where i lived. it was desert. i am ocean. i felt stifled there. like i was drowning. claustraphibic, maybe, even. i felt like i had no way out. i was so wrapped up in hating where i lived i appreciated nothing about it. maybe, one day, i will be able to go back there and feel differently. i hope that is the case. i would one day like to go back with the boys, to the place we lived with their father, and without anger, sadness or bitterness i will be able to share stories with them. places with them. some day.
i love all the photos. especially the ones of jeff. and you!! i am so glad you did this.
All very familiar sights (+; If you ever get the chance you should head down to Anza Borrego (between the Salton Sea and San Diego) Another desert lovers playground and desert photographers delight with wonders around every corner. I wouldn’t recommend summer though if you don’t cotton to those 120 degree days. Ha… Love your PS photos.
So much gorgeousness. I love it out there too, the peace and quiet you get in the parklands is absolutely incredible. And the wind turbines! Yes! I was actually out in Indian Wells for work the week before last and wished I was there for fun the whole time.
i have always loved those windmills….only the ones i always saw going between mom and dad visits were in Tehaccappi (sp?) CA
beautiful images and beautiful words :)
Wow, I teared up as I viewed your photos tonight. Palm Springs holds a key to my heart even more than I ever realized before this. I grew up in the midwest, but became an adult with my first teaching job in the Palm Springs area. My husband and I found ourselves as adults, we married, and had our oldest daughter all while we lived there. We moved back to the midwest so our daughter could grow up with family. Looking at your photos makes me want to visit again. I want to take both my girls there and show them the amazing colors and scenery the desert holds. The sky is never bluer than when it above the many different colors of brown that the desert contains. The sky is never clearer than when there is a contrast between the desert and the mountains. Thank you so much for sharing your photos. They really did my heart good tonight when I needed a bit of peace added to my life.
ooooh my heart jumps at the breeze in the curtains, and not the one that moves. the long shadows. how wonderful. i long to have moments like that with my hubby.
love, love, love palm springs and love, love, love these photos. tried to pin some but pinterest wouldn’t let me! really gorgeous tara. glad you had such a wonderful bday. xo
I did not grow up in the desert, or anywhere near it, nor did I even see a desert until I was an adult. But they are mysterious. They know something. I am glad you were able to go back to the desert and claim what was yours.
would it be weird if i told you i could hear a soundtrack to your story, your photos?? beautiful. you are beautiful.
It’s great to get away and have a break ! I was thinking before of how much your son Drew looks like Jeff and always meant to say it , they really are the spitting image of one another !! :-)
Tara, your photography feels so effortless. (In the best way possible).
These photos make me feel calm, cool. Breathless.
You’re wonderful. :)
Tara- I have followed you and your journeys for years. Of course I don’t “know” you really, but your writing and photographs are a true blessing in my life.. And I mean that in a totally non-stalkerish way! You rock. Krista in Virginia
Love that you guys got away. Always love your photo essays. Always. I know you love San Fran — has your family ever vacationed on up north of there? My hubby and I just got back from a San Fran to Seattle along Route 101 trip and oh my…North California (like, way north) completely stole my heart. If you’ve never been to Mendocino, something tells me you would lo-hu-uvveeeee it.