Last week I was asked by to be part of an article about moms and their bodies. I am a mom and I have a body so I was happy to be involved. I am a mom and I have a body that isn’t at all what the society standard of beauty is. But as the years have gone by, I have grown more and more comfortable with it. There are things that have helped me, like therapy and Lena Dunham in her green bikini. But most of all, it was my own stubbornness. I won’t miss out on the amazing bond and connection that comes with joining my children in the water. I won’t let my cellulite or my flabby stomach stop me from getting into a bathing suit and swimming in the ocean with them. I won’t let any stupid 20yo boy fat shame me into staying in my muumuu. Someday his wife is (probably) going to look just like me, anyway.

The more of  “us” that throw our middle finger up to the (figurative) man, the more of “us” that show off our skin no matter the size, the more comfortable we will all feel in our skin. So, let’s do that, okay?!

The interview touches on this and on motherhood in general, and I was surprised to see the outcome. I thought I would just be quoted in an article, but they printed my interview in entirety.

Here is an excerpt:

“What do you find the most challenging or surprising about motherhood?

The hardest thing for me is not imposing any one set of beliefs or ideas onto them, and instead staying open to the way they view the world. I value individuality and free thinking, but that can be challenging during times when a child is in a rough phase. (Ahem, puberty. Ahem, middle school.) It’s easy to get stuck in a fretful mindset, where you forget about who your child really is, and suddenly you are just thinking, “I have a lazy kid, or a mean kid, or a bratty kid — WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!” The best advice I ever got was, “Everything is a phase.” Just because one of your children is going through a rough time, doesn’t mean they will be in it forever, it doesn’t mean they are lazy or mean or bratty. It’s just a phase. My mantra is “Love them through it.” Just like everyone eventually gets potty-trained — everyone eventually figures themselves out.”

Here is the link to read the rest.

Photo of me taken by my friend Krista Cocke.

Thank you,!
And especially, thank you Lena.


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  1. i think you radiate beauty. Never noticed flabby soft anything on you ever. I see a mother who loves like crazy.. A man who adores you and a wonderful family bond. Beats a mumu any day

  2. I’m doing well with the swimming-in-a-swimsuit part this summer (it helps to be living in a house with a pool for the year) but WHOO BOY I needed to hear the middle school/bratty/mean/lazy phase part. We have been smacked hard with that one kinda out of the blue in the last few months.

  3. I LOVE YOU 10000x MORE now that you have posted this picture. I am scared sh*tless of the swimsuit and it’s totally bc of the 20yo boys (and girls, honestly). You look AMAZING and you are my hero– now for just one more reason!!

  4. This is beautiful!!! Thank you for this post! A friend & I were just talking about this a few weekends ago…life is short and we need to live it with our kids, families, friends, & loved ones. I loved this post and the article. I love watching my tween grow up…she never ceases to amaze me. Thanks for the words of wisdom!

  5. I’ve read for years but never comment, and decided that not commenting is the internet equivalent of not wearing my swimsuit in public. There are many things I’ve read of yours over the years that touch my heart, but this article is one of my favorites.

    “Perfect is boring. Relish in your quirks, play up your individuality.”

    Exactly what I needed to hear right now.

  6. I wear a bikini, I am 49 years old, I will not let anyone else in this world determine what I can and cannot do. BUT, even though I think like that, I hesistated, just for a second about putting my bikini picture on my blog. I hesitated, why? I asked myself, this is who I am, if someone does not like it, don’t look. I am proud of who I am and I am comfortable in my skin. Thank you for posting your picture, I posted mine! And BTW, you do look great for a mom of 4! It is what is inside that matters anyway. I have met some beautiful thin women but they open their mouths and speak, it is not pretty and makes them look ugly. I have met large women that are gorgoeus because when they speak beautiful words come out and make them beautiful! That is what I strive to do, make the words I speak make me beautiful!

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