Last week I was asked by Mom.me to be part of an article about moms and their bodies. I am a mom and I have a body so I was happy to be involved. I am a mom and I have a body that isn’t at all what the society standard of beauty is. But as the years have gone by, I have grown more and more comfortable with it. There are things that have helped me, like therapy and Lena Dunham in her green bikini. But most of all, it was my own stubbornness. I won’t miss out on the amazing bond and connection that comes with joining my children in the water. I won’t let my cellulite or my flabby stomach stop me from getting into a bathing suit and swimming in the ocean with them. I won’t let any stupid 20yo boy fat shame me into staying in my muumuu. Someday his wife is (probably) going to look just like me, anyway.
The more of “us” that throw our middle finger up to the (figurative) man, the more of “us” that show off our skin no matter the size, the more comfortable we will all feel in our skin. So, let’s do that, okay?!
The interview touches on this and on motherhood in general, and I was surprised to see the outcome. I thought I would just be quoted in an article, but they printed my interview in entirety.
Here is an excerpt:
“What do you find the most challenging or surprising about motherhood?
The hardest thing for me is not imposing any one set of beliefs or ideas onto them, and instead staying open to the way they view the world. I value individuality and free thinking, but that can be challenging during times when a child is in a rough phase. (Ahem, puberty. Ahem, middle school.) It’s easy to get stuck in a fretful mindset, where you forget about who your child really is, and suddenly you are just thinking, “I have a lazy kid, or a mean kid, or a bratty kid — WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!” The best advice I ever got was, “Everything is a phase.” Just because one of your children is going through a rough time, doesn’t mean they will be in it forever, it doesn’t mean they are lazy or mean or bratty. It’s just a phase. My mantra is “Love them through it.” Just like everyone eventually gets potty-trained — everyone eventually figures themselves out.”
Here is the link to read the rest.
Photo of me taken by my friend Krista Cocke.
Thank you, Mom.me!
And especially, thank you Lena.