personal project \\ six people twelve times \\ 06.10

This picture makes me laugh and I don’t like it and I love it all at the same time.

We were on a walk on a local trail. A trail I found a few months ago and have visited several times since. There aren’t many areas locally with this type of tree cover and natural habitat. I LOVE it. We like to sneak off the trail and walk up the dried riverbed looking for treasure. It gets dark and spooky. They pretend to be in a pirate’s cove. We bring our iPod and play it in a portable dock/speaker. We coax Mckenna, we challenge each other, we try not to let the whining get to us.

June is one of the months in the year that I look forward to. I love that we are nearing the end of the school year and that summer and freedom and sleeping in are upon us.

Anna ended first grade. We made a dolphin diorama for school. She showed off everything she learned and made, walking us around her classroom with her proud shy little face. She started reading chapter books. I catch her in bed, on the couch, in the backseat. She likes books about dogs and horses and girls. It reminds me of me. She sings constantly – remembering words to songs that I can’t believe she can remember. Her favorite shirt is the blue one that says: Pony Rides 5 dollars. After a month in the pool, we have started calling her our brown berry – her olive skin just browns right up, no matter the 50 SPF sunblock, it laughs in my face. And she is just as scrumptious, as ripe, as juicy as a berry.

I love her.

Nate ended fourth grade. He is the tallest in his class. He towers over the rest of the group. Towers over the rest of his friends. I loved going into his classroom, he loved showing us everything he had created. He was giddy asking Jeff and I the questions that were tacked on the board – testing us – which one of us was not smarter than a 4th grader? He likes reading books about dragons. He likes to come home and put on his pajamas. It reminds me of me. His favorite spot on the couch is the corner, with his feet kicked up. I call him the accelerator – you can never hear any specific noise when the boys are rough housing, just grunts and giggles, but you can hear Nathan, he makes sure of it in order to get someone else in trouble. I am onto him but he doesn’t realize it yet. He broke his arm falling off his bike just a week before school was out. He picked blue for his cast. When you tease him he bows his head, but you can see the smile on his cheeks, the sweep of his long hair, his freckles.

I love him.

Drew ended seventh grade. I think I may have witnessed the last time he will get out of the car and say “Bye, Mom. I love you.” With a flip of his hair, shoving his phone in his pocket, hitching his backpack onto his shoulder. But I hope not. It never mattered how many other kids were on the sidewalk. I was always surprised by that. I always secretly loved that. He saved a years worth of English papers to burn in a bonfire at the start of summer. This was the first time his yearbook has been important. It reminds me of me. He carried it to school on the last few days, the only thing needed was that and a pen. He looked so big. It was filled with big sloppy girlie letters and declarations of awesomeness. I so wanted to read through every little bit, but they are his to savor. He picked out his own shoes for the first time. He didn’t need me to help him, or show him what I liked. He knew just what he wanted. Black low top Vans with turquoise laces.

I love him.

Mckenna ended seventh grade, and for me the ending was like a dragged out, bumpy landing with an abrupt stop. We bounced and jostled and gripped the arms of our seats through this year of school, until suddenly, the wheels touched down. Not soon enough. But with relief. She has had issues at school – spitting and cursing at teachers, bathroom accidents, showing a lot of stubbornness and willfulness. Acting out in ways we rarely see at home. She is unpredictable yes, but she is predictable in her unpredictability for us. All of this is so unlike her, I know it is her way of telling me she has had it. I am hoping that two months off can help us to see what needs to change for her. Because not a week out of school, her entire demeanor has changed. She is less stressed. She gets to go slowly through her routines. She wakes up at ten or eleven. She spends a lot of time listening to the music on her iPod – literally sitting in her room for hours, playing the same songs over and over, singing as loud as she can, rewinding to get the words right. It reminds me of me. She likes to run errands with me because she can be in charge of the music in the car. She begged for weeks to go shopping at the mall. I told her as soon as school was out. Two days into summer, I took her to the mall and let her buy whatever she wanted. She wanted long dresses and pajamas from Justice. A pretzel and a cheese on a stick. A new Backyardigans plush doll. Kool-Aid lipgloss and a red rose hair clip from Claire’s.

I love her.

I think this is my favorite time of the year. I revel in the lack of routine. The laziness. The open day. I love asking them what they want to do today, and then doing it. I love not having to shuttle them around to school. I love being home with them. I love that right now I can hear Mckenna belting out “Tomorrow” from the Annie soundtrack in her room. I love that Drew is off ice blocking with a group of friends. I love that Anna is tucked into my bed, watching James and the Giant Peach. I love that Nate is settled onto his favorite spot on the couch, playing his latest video game. We realized this weekend that we only have five more years with Drew until he heads off to college. Five years. Five. Years.

This is time for us.

Summer is ours.

xo

Tara

PS – If you joined in, please add a link in the comment section.

Join the Conversation

84 Comments

  1. tara, this is the most beautiful thing i’ve read in a long time. you are amazing. talented. amazingly talented. meeting you and having you shoot us (sounds weird, but you know what i mean) is on my mondo beyondo list. someday, lady! someday!
    you are an inspiration when i need it most. your photos and words seem to always find their way into my day at the most perfect time….. thank you. thank you for what you do and how you share and the details you pay attention to.

    the everyday is oftentimes the most spectacular….and getting a glimpse into your world is such a treat!

    i treasure your authenticity through the interwebs, girl.
    :)

  2. I have grown to look forward to your project. you help me inspire to spend time with my family and to appreciate by children. I am planning to attack this type of project next year (when the difficulties of my family are settled.) so, i guess I just want to say “thank you”

  3. Tara, I can’t put into words how much I love these posts. Every single one is amazing. I love that you just want to BE with them, and do whatever it is their hearts desire for the day. Makes everyone want to be part of this family!

  4. Tara, these posts always make me teary. I feel like they put your heart for your family right out there on display, and it is a brilliant beautiful thing. Thanks for sharing your family with us, how they grow and play and love together. I love it.

  5. Great image! I just posted on my blog the exact same thing about our now 8th grader… only FIVE more years. Thinking about how fast these last five years have gone by scares me to death. Savor the moments…

  6. I love you guys. I love your personal posts. I know how hard it’s going to be once my kids get a little older to round them all up for a family picture. I love your writing, and I love that I got the Annie soundtrack for McKenna :)

  7. You just LOVE to make us all teary eyed!!Beautiful post Tara…I am so glad you are doing this.its so much fun to read and enables me (and others)to peek a boo into your life in a way we would miss otherwise….

    They remind me of you and I love them,and I love you

    Mom

  8. Tara,

    Although I hate the term blog-stalking, I have to admit guilt. I first noticed your talent on Two Peas in a Bucket and have followed your progress for years and LOVE your work, style and enthusiasm, but this project has me in awe. Thank you for sharing your talent, passion and family with us. I see things as a photographer differently thanks to you, I also see relationships differently too. Thank you, for being you and being so giving of your talent and life. Take good care, Tamra

  9. Your family is so beautiful, I love your words Tara, the way your love for your little family shows through the beautiful moments you share in those words… thank you for sharing your photos, your family, your talent with the world :)

  10. Tears! Beautiful letter that your children will cherish. 5 years is such a short time, I don’t ‘know’ you, but I have a good feeling that you will make the most of such a short time. Thanks for sharing your beautiful family with us readers.

  11. Tara,

    You are… an. awesome. MOM.

    (I can’t tell you just how fast those five year will go as we packed off our older son to college this last fall. His first year of college. Done.

    Just. Like. That.

  12. this is such a wonderful project. and a reminder to be more observant. i used to make lists when the kids were babies, toddlers, learning new things. but now? why did i stop? at 8 and 9, could I make such a list?

  13. as always. I LOVE it. Makes me wanna cry. Time does fly and it is scary. 5 years is nothing. wow!!! I love this project. I haven’t posted my June yet but I just love already that I can look back and remember the first half of the year. Thanks for the wonderful idea.

  14. oh gosh – teary me – i have used up all my 5 years left – thank you for sharing with us – urg – Anna was a baby with all the quilts in a pram just the other day – and now my grandbaby is 3 already.

  15. When my oldest went off to kindergarten my mother remarked that she was surprised I didn’t cry. I didn’t cry because I was teaching full-time, had another one who was three and my life was a whirlwind. I didn’t have time to cry. I cried when I took my oldest to register for high school. Full non-stop sobbing in the halls of our high school while my son tried to console me!!! I balled again as we dropped him off his freshman year of college 2,000 miles away from home. Now my youngest is entering his last year of high school. Somehow I know the waterworks are gearing up:)
    It goes so fast…take it all in.

    Giovanna

  16. hi tara!
    thanks for this great, inspiring blog! i have a mom/photo question for you. i imagine you take ALOT of photos of you family like me. i am overwhelmed with what to do with them all and i really want to commit to getting them off of my computer and displayed somewhere. photobooks, scrapbooks, slideshows,albums, proofboxes…the options are endless…AND expensive. i need to go back several years to get caught up. i just wonder if you have some amazing system you would like to share with all us mom photogs out there who are so busy editing others pics that we can’t keep up with our own. :) have a happy day girl!

  17. You take my breath away every time I read one of these, with tears in my eyes. I don’t even have children and still it makes me ache!

    BTW, you look GORGEOUS. Is every one on this planet losing weight but me?! *LOL*

  18. I love these posts every month! Thank you for sharing all these lovely things about your family. We are having a baby in October and everytime I read your posts about your family I get more and more excited about starting a family. I can’t wait for all the magical memories to begin.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.