warning: dont read if you dont like a good pity party of one

Posted byTara 132 Comments on warning: dont read if you dont like a good pity party of one

not in the mood for halloween.
not in the mood for anything really.
mad that i didnt get the garage organized before this so that i could get to the halloween decorations and put them out for my kids. since the construction this summer our garage has been a monster neither of us wants to tackle.
crabby
tired
house is a WRECK
seriously seriously a wreck
the kids rooms, my desk, my room, the laundry
nothing is organized the way i like it to be
its all clean underneath the mess but its making me crazy and i dont want to keep up with it
im hungry but nothing sounds good
i desperately want to go guzzle a 44 ounce coca cola
but i wont
i am afraid i am going to catch jeffs cold
ive had a lingering migraine since sunday
i really wish i could sleep in everyday
probably shouldnt be posting, but
just
bleh

now – you are only allowed to comment if you want to join in with me. vent away. list form is fast and easy. it will help you let go of some of your BLEH-ness. go for it. im going to go hop in the shower and put on some music that will pump me up. maybe some beastie boys, maybe some damien marley, maybe my classic rock playlist. yes, thats the one. some stones and some grateful dead will do the trick.

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132 Comments

  1. I’m tired and cranky too.
    The two kids that could sleep in won’t.
    Always want to take a nap while they are in school but end up doing other stuff–so no nap.
    My house is a constant mess after two years of constant rehab work. No trim in most rooms. Heck I’d be happy if the living room and foyer were painted! I just want it to be done. But of course we’re doing it all ourselves so we get no time off for good behavior.
    I wish someone appreciated all i do. Not just take for granted that it is done and done well. To not have all I do ignored just because it is ALL my job because I stay home.That really stinks.

    Hope you feel better Tara! I do a little.

  3. moved home to be near family, but have not found a job yet.
    mom is being psycho- so glad i moved home for this!!
    bought a costume, then didn’t have time to change before the T-O-T-ers got here.

    oh.
    and i have a HUGE zit on my forehead!! seriously, it has it’s own moon!!

  4. I’m a day late but I have a vent…
    Today is my Birthday and I don’t want it to be.
    Next year I will be 40
    I didn’t lose the weight I wanted to lose this year.
    Holidays are coming, YUCK!
    My house is a mess…One day of no cleaning would be nice.

    I think I will go shopping that will help…

  5. I am cranky
    my hair needs washing
    my house is a mess
    my scrapbook mojo is lost
    I have not made my granddaughter’s baby book
    my husband travels every week
    I am alone far too much
    fridge is empty
    dont like to cook for one
    my dogs are my lifeline
    I am becoming crazy dog lady

    ***being a grandma is kinda cool tho!

  6. I’m tired
    sleepy
    but won’t sleep.. too busy
    I’m tired of cooking
    everyday
    I wish hubby cooked sometimes
    I wish hubby was here more
    I want a house cleaner
    I NEED a mani/pedi
    DESPERATELY
    I want ME TIME…what’s that again?
    I want the door open
    I need a spa day… just. for. me.
    I’m tired
    I want to trash the tv…
    I don’t want to be invisible anymore =/
    want someone to talk to w.o that person getting a hissy fit!
    I want to eat chocolate and not gain 10lbs
    I want chocolate ice cream
    I want COKE.. 2 cans…yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    ok… I think I’m done

  7. ok here it comes….
    Im sick of all the pitfalls in trying to buy a house.
    Im sick of waiting for it to be sorted
    but
    I cant be bothered starting to pack
    Im dreading the years of work to get the house how we want it
    and the payments, oh the payments!
    I hate that it feels like the work never ends
    I hate that I feel overweight and Im sick of dieting
    Im not hungry but I feel like I want to eat something.
    but i dont know what. I know what I dont want to eat – everthing I have thought of so far!
    I dont want to sleep but I dont want to be awake either
    I dont know what I want
    but i wish I did….
    hmmmmmm. lookin good!
    glad Im not the only one!

  10. my house is a semi-wreck because of a bunch of things we did this summer. and there is a rolled up rug in my studio that smells musty and i’m about to go throw it on the curb because i can’t take that freakin’ smell anymore. halloween was actually great for us, but as soon as i got home i had a terrible belly ache (and i didn’t even eat any candy). so i went to bed early, got up with one kid to get her to school and went back to bed for two hours. and i’m still putzing around in my bathrobe two hours later. i’m telling my husband that we are going out to dinner tonight.

  11. Sorry, I have to join in:

    I hate it that I’m getting a divorce after 21 years of marriage,

    I hate it that my wife is having an affair and is out right now with her boyfriend,

    I hate it that he is married with 2 small kids,

    I hate it that I am struggling financially and feel judged by it,

    I hate it that I complain so much, at least to myself,

    I hate it that my daughter and I are moving out,

    I hate it that I am seperated from my family,

    I hate it that I haven’t developed more friendships,

    I hate it that I have to battle negative self-talk,

    However…

    I’m glad my kids love me,

    I’m glad our divorce isn’t mean-spirited,

    I’m glad…I think…that my wife still thinks of me as her best friend and that she believes nobody will ever love her as well as I have,

    I’m glad I’ve spent a year and a half trying to save our marriage,

    I’m glad I have ADHD and am very creative,

    I’m glad I am in counselling,

    I’m glad God loves me,

    I’m glad for second, third, fourth…chances and courage to continue getting up,

    I’m glad to be introduced to myself and strengths for the first time in my life…

    Ok…feel better now.

    Allow God to change your life by changing your heart and mind.

    Thanks for the space for rant!

  13. I am so with you…
    I don’t want to be a foster mom anymore
    I want the boxes all unpacked
    My head hurts
    It’s cold in here
    I feel alot of regret about hating Halloween
    I wish I was a fun mom
    We have too much stuff
    We want more stuff
    I’d love a pepsi
    Hugs Miss T..thanks for allowing us to be ourselves today!

  14. Okay, moved this weekend, house also in a wreck. Getting married in 9 days and am SICK OF PEOPLE ASKING ME ABOUT THE WEDDING. Also sick of writing thank you cards.

    Ready for all of this to be over with and for me and my husband to be in SF eating good food and drinking beer.

  15. Okay, moved this weekend, house also in a wreck. Getting married in 9 days and am SICK OF PEOPLE ASKING ME ABOUT THE WEDDING. Also sick of writing thank you cards.

    Ready for all of this to be over with and for me and my husband to be in SF eating good food and drinking beer.

    Sorry I’m a day late.

  18. Oh, I’ve so been needing more pity party, though I’ve indulged once or twice in the past 2 months.

    I’m pregnant with triplets – unexpectedly. We already have 3 children. In the next few weeks, I will no longer be able to work, which means we will overnight lose 75% of our income and soon after will double the number of children we have to provide for until I can go back to work. So far, we have no plan that will make it possible to make a house note (much less most of the other bills) for 6 months or so which means by the time I DO go back, we will be too far behind to catch up and
    could very well lose our house.

    So yeah, despite this unbelievable blessing, I’m a lot scared and stressed.

    Hope your days improve :)

  19. Well it’s a day late, but can I join in??? I so love reading how human we can all be. It’s so hard to keep your family and yourself together all the time, and we feel guilty when we start cracking at the seams but sometimes we just need to let it crack open and just deal with what is going on. So here is my blehs….

    I’m tired of feeling tired all of the time..i want to get over this chest cold or flu, i have no time to even go to the dr. to find out what it is, i’m worried about my husbands new job, worried that they might pick him to go to Iraq for over a year, i’m mad at the world we are living in and the values that are slowly going away, i’m worried about my kids future and what kind of world they will live in, i’m mad that i am slowly losing hope, the one thing we all need to survive everyday, I wish I could be more of a positive, but i let the negatives take over sometimes, I wish for more time, more time to think of how I can fix all of these….

    Thanks for the vent

  22. Air conditioning compressor went out on our van…$3200 initial estimate..got the dealership to lower the price to a mere $1300 (LOL). Now our F drive is or has chrashed that houses several thousand of my photos and numerous other things of course. I backed up several but have several that will be lost if they can’t be recovered…and of course the recovery will cost me too…in the range of $500! It’s been the year of Murphy’s…starter went out on our three year old fridge …our three year old riding lawn mower with 75 hours on it had the tranny go out…$1000 to fix with only a 90 day warranty. So, of course we had to buy a $4000 mower to replace it b/c $75 to have it mowed one to two times a week was adding up. An ERG valve went out on the van this summer as well…$300+ to fix. I am sooo ready to have an end to these “Murphy’s”. I am trying to focus on the fact that this is just the way life is-ups and downs…ebbs and flows…good days and bad…and really, when I really think about it,I need to remember I’m here…existing…with a loving husband, two handsome blue-eyed boys, with a roof over our heads and with our health. Why should I be complaining? I mean really? But, you know what? It DOES feel good to vent. So thanks Tara for giving us all an occasion to do so! :)
    Susan

  24. I have plenty of things to complain about, and, as my husband will attest, I often do…but you guys have pretty much covered all the stuff I could think of and then some, so….I am going to make a wish for each of us to have a wonderful and lovely weekend, stress-free, hopeful, rested, and cheery. At the risk of sounding like a Pollyanna in the midst of a venting convention…I am really GRATEFUL for my four beautiful,healthy children, who are not without issues, but who are mine and for whom I would lay down my life…and for my husband who is such a hard worker and so resilient and does so much to keep the lives of a family with an ADD mother in sync….for my healthy body despite the fact that I have a BMI of 31…and I am still actually young enough to do something about it if I so choose….and for a simply beautiful fall day with blue Idaho sky and golden trees and a breeze that I can feel on my skin…and always, when the nights get cold, I am SO grateful for my warm home, and a place to be me. Halloween is my birthday, so I’ve always kinda liked it, although it is a hassle and there are lots of expectations when you have kids…I guess I am grateful for 46 years of LIFE. Geez, come to think of it, I have a pretty darn full and awesome life and lots to be thankful for. There! Oppositional Defiant VENT! I love y’all, my peeps.

  25. i had my personal pity party a day after all you girls. nov 1st was my crash day, worried i am raising ungrateful, i want everything now kids who have major puberty attitude…i didn’t want to work…feel fat, why isn’t weight watchers working for me…would rather be scrapbooking but too much work to do…feel like i’m getting old…feel like i need a change…thought that if i checked myself into a hospital with a nervous breakdown they’d leave me alone…instead called hubbie, he listened, i cried, he said pray which i did and the weird karma thing happened, 2 friends out of the blue sent me some of those emails to make you stop and think and guess what – pray, i consider myself more spiritual than religious but felt it was a sign from the big guy, restored my faith… we had a long family discussion with the kids and so did not check into the hospital and like you tara woke up today and feel remarkably better – it is a new day. for all of you that have much more serious and real problems God Bless you and thanks tara for sharing your human side with all of us. have a great weekend.

  26. all of the above and why the hell don’t they make clothes to fit an average size woman that don’t look like my grandma should be wearing them? Frustrated beyond belief that the world is so shallow that a little curve is considered ugly.

  27. oh I want to join is as well!
    Questioning if all this photography work is worth it, I am tired, I might have been crazy for choosing to homeschool my kindergartener, I am sitting on two weddings that need to be edited, one wedding isn’t even downloaded yet, my house is a mess, need to send out sample DVD’s in the mail for a wedding client, need to answer emails, grumpy because I have no family photos of my own family, need to stop reading blogs now. One thing that makes me happy is a just found out you’re in so cal and I had no idea.

    okay I feel a bit better now, bring on the work LOL

  29. wow, permission to vent…what first??
    I hate our car.
    If we have to put another dime into that piece of crap, I’m going to beat it with a bat!
    I’m tired of cleaning up after my husband.
    I’m tired of making excuses that my husband is great with the kids when I’m at school, so I can deal with a messy house.
    I’m tired of cleaning up after my husband…did I already mention that?
    I have a ton of school work and I can’t seem to get cheered up enough to work on it with all the house work I need to do as well.
    I’m paying for my son to be at daycare today so I can have the day to study.
    I wish I could be an excellent student.
    I wish I could be an excellent mother.
    I wish I could be an excellent wife.
    I wish I could be an excellent maid.
    I am tired of not having money. I’m tired of feeling guilty and overcompensating because my husbands birthday is Halloween and we spend the time trick or treating with our kids vs celebrating his birthday.
    I’m bitter that we spent a ton of money on a new tv for his birthday (guilt for the whole halloween deal) and now our car is in the shop.
    I hate that I missed trick or treating to be in class. I missed my daughter overcoming her shyness to say ‘trick or treat’.
    I hate and adore that my children are becoming more accepting of my husband taking care of them.
    I hate my parents for not making my children a priority in their life. My daughter misses them and my son has only seen them once since he was born.
    I hate the dreaded phone call from the mechanic that we have heard so many times already this year. How much is this going to cost?
    I hate that we are paying the price(literally) for the choice to be home with my babies.
    I hate that I’m excited to be done with school in July only to get a job, put my son in daycare~ for money.
    I hate that I had 4 years to be home with my daughter and only a year with my son.
    I hate that my husband just called to say he loves me and caught me crying while I’m typing a huge message to a complete stranger: venting!

    I have so much to be thankful for. I love my husband and my children and my school and my life. I have been so blessed in so many ways. I feel a bit guilty for all that I wrote BUT it was damn good to get that off my chest. Thanks for that opportunity! I am a huge fan of your work! Your photographs are inspiring and uplifting. Thanks for bringing a little light into my day.

  31. Oh I sooooo know this feeling. All of it! Especially the house-is-a-wreck thing. It gradually builds up and up and then WHAM! It’s an official disaster area.

    p.s. Your photgraphy is AMAZING. If I lived closer, I would be calling you in a heartbeat.

    Joy

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