was all i had to say.

(these two have two gorgeous daughters. more from them tomorrow.)

the kids (minus kenna who is in summer school) are off to my moms house for a week of mimi, papa, aunt alisha and karissa bliss. yesterday they packed their own clothes and other necessities for the week (anna: Silkie and a purse full of tiny little things she is sure to lose under the couch or in a dogs mouth, nathan: huge alligator stuffed animal pillow, drew: four different pillows, a telescope, and his gameboy.) enjoying the silence doesnt begin to describe it.

mckenna is in school for the first four weeks of summer, which is really good for kids like her to keep the routine and the academics fresh. its also extra beneficial this summer because of her transition to middle school. we are getting all the kinks out now, before school actually starts. she has some behaviors that are less than ideal that have cropped up this year with the onset of the pre-teen years. taking off shoes and other clothing items when angry, cussing, throwing things. all things that are especially less than ideal at school with her regular ed peers. what we decided to do is if any of that behavior cropped up, she gets no chances, a phone call to mom, a ride home with moms “prison warden voice”, and a lot of time in her room. we have only had to do it once. im crossing my fingers she got the point. for most kids getting to come home would be a reward, but for mckenna it is hell knowing where she is supposed to be, and not being there. (watch ill get a phone call before i finish this post)

since i didnt blog at all last week, i have to share some photos that my supahfriend lisa took while we were visiting. the boys had a sleepover at her house. and let me tell you, i know they have more fun than they know what to do with, because the car ride home from the pick up is full of “oh my gosh mom” “guess what” “and then we” “and lisa let us” …. lisa’s house is a little boys fantasy. snacks and juice boxes at the ready. video games, huge front and backyard to play in, and lots of fun activities. lisa is the mom who acts like the auntie. she is SO AWESOME with kids. all four of my kids love her to death. mckenna walks into her house and knows exactly where the snacks are, and lisa hooks her up with her own “little bag” and she goes to town. i love being at lisas house. she has this adorable little bungalow filled with her wonderful photos and her childrens art, surrounded by eucalyptus trees and gets this amazing breeze. my favorite part of days at her house is sitting out on the front porch at night drinking a beer or a coke in the cool breeze, with the windchimes chiming. talking. such a chill place that i always feel right at home in.

lisa was the paparazzi this time, i didnt bring my camera, so this is what she got on our day together, and the day after with just the boys.

these made me so so happy when she shared them with me. love seeing the boys in all their glory. video games, swimming, crawdad hunting, slip n slide. how could you get a more all american summer day but at lisas house?

(ps-OPAM is so not happening tomorrow either. last week was…interesting to say the least.)

i so wish i could be posting right now, by the skin of my teeth, that i finished my june opam and tada here it is with just an hour to go until midnight.

but yea, for sure thats not happening.

the wind kind of got knocked out of my sails towards the end of this month. not just for my project, but in a lot of areas. a friend and i were both saying that for some reason right now ev er y litt le ti ny thing feels inc red ibly inc re dibly hard. i have suffered from migraines for ten years off and on. this month i felt like my brain was in a pressure cooker-this fuzzy tight feeling that makes me feel cranky. any sudden move and i get a head rush-the kind that would sometimes make my vision black out in rhythm with the pounding. my dr didnt seem completely concerned, but she did refer me to a neurologist. i think in black and white like this it sounds a bit freakier than it is. what it is for me is really pretty painful for a girl with a high pain threshold and just a tenth of a gazillion bamillion times inconvenient.

so, there’s that.

then, mckenna and drew went and ‘graduated’ fifth grade on me. their next step is into middle school for 6th grade. i didnt think it would affect me as much as it did. even now thinking about it so i can write this out makes my throat clench up and my face get hot. my oldest. entering a completely new chapter in their life. as far as public education, i am almost halfway to the home plate with those two. and that FREAKS ME THE FREAK OUT! how did i stoop down to pick his bottle off the ground and stand up to see him nine years older and talking about wearing deodorant? he is like five seconds from backing my car out of the driveway and tooling off on his own. and mckenna, leaving a school and a home and a place she was safe and so very, very loved. leaving two women (her amazing teacher and aide) who are incredible and strong and have been there for me through many a teary or frustrated or celebratory phone call. i didnt know how to say good-bye so in the end i just didnt. i cant yet say goodbye either to my perception of them-i cant visualize them in this new place. it just cant be happening. its just all too hard to handle. time is passing way too fast.

SO many people say this all of the time, and yet, we are all surprised when we too go through it. surprised and struggling to get through it.

then of course just the typical adjustments of time and space and schedule and personality that have to happen when suddenly the house never gets a break from the six of us. “when summer attacks.” all in all i think we have done an okay job, but now its time to move past phase one (acclimation) and into phase two (action!). time to get on the meal plan, sign the kids up for some fun stuff, and hang out with dear friends.

and since the only way this month could end was with none other than a last little sucker punch to the gut: just this weekend mckenna squirted about a tablespoon of super-glu onto the display of my iMac. possibly, you could learn from the misfortune of jeffs mistake, and instead of smugly and pompously asking me, “well why did you leave super-glu on your table?”, collapse into an empathic and sincere fit of despair and sob for two hours with me while listening to willie nelson-he was a friend of mine. saddest thing in the whir ULD. jeff was not harmed, but i cannot tell you how close he came.

so back to thee, opam. i shan’t forget thee, and would ask your excellence most humbly for a small extension…say seven days?