a quote from the movie that makes my throat catch each time i hear it: “i tortured myself thinking that in order to fully love her, i needed to be able to understand her head.”

we walked in and saw coach elaine right away. i kneeled down and said “mckenna, this is coach e!” and mckenna said, “hi coach e, my name is mckenna, nice to meet you.” and walked right into her arms for a hug. coach e looked at me and said “ohhhh this made my entire day.” i introduced myself.

they ushered kenna into the room for coloring and i filled out paperwork and sat with her for a bit. i selfishly, oh so selfishly, wanted to stay and watch every single second, but they preferred that the parents not stay, so i left and walked around the third street promenade for a bit.

the last 15 minutes of class they share with the parents and caregivers what they learned. they first had to introduce themselves, describe what they had drawn at the beginning of the day, and then show everyone their art. i walked into the room just as it was mckennas turn, so she didnt see me when she said “my name is mckenna whitney. i colored this beautiful sun, and this duck.”

i swelled with pride and tears. i am a basket-case! and tip-toed around to find a spot to sit.

then they got to show the group how much they learned in one day, and of course our mckenna was front and center, singing loud and proud, already memorized the words and movements. more swelling with pride and tears. i was embarrassed at my over emotion. all of the other parents seemed like they were taking it in stride!

the first song they learned was “who am i?”

some of the words:

who am i?
its not what you see.
gotta take a chance
to get to know the real me

i am happy
i am proud
i am FUNNY
i am LOUD

etc

we finished holding hands in a circle and singing another song together, the perfect ending.

after it all wrapped up, cat the piano player and another volunteer (who ill get the name of today) came right up to me “are you mckennas mom? she is amazing. she learned everything so quickly. she is like a sponge! we love her! are you local? can she sign up for the program that starts in september?”

i wanted to cry all over again…i told them we are coming up from OC, but i am very willing to drive up once a week because i really believe this is so necessary and relevant and perfect…so we shall see.

couple of things-mckenna isnt actually diagnosed with anything. she is mentally retarded, which is a symptom caused by what? we dont know. there was a period of time that we were told she was on the autistic spectrum, and then another period of time we were told no, she was not. she is what she is, and no one really understands why. we are in the process of a whole new work up for her, but referrals and first patient appointments take a very very long time to get. the miracle project is for all types of kids, special needs and their typical siblings.

if you want to check out what emily and i were up to last weekend, go here. more on that later…

ill be taking the rest of this week off of work since my whole day is taken up driving and waiting…but i am always available via email if any prior or future client needs to get in touch with me, ill do my best to respond within the same day!

months ago, my friend lisa told me about autism, the musical. i tivo’d it, and it sat on my list for months. a few weeks ago, i was sick in bed and had the time to watch it.

i was moved beyond words. sobbing, relating, connecting to the children and families featured in a way i hadnt in a very long time. the whole time watching, thinking how perfect something like this would be for mckenna, my little stage hog performer…but assuming the organization was based in NYC.

towards the end i saw something in the movie that made me go, “AH! WAIT! THIS IS IN LOS ANGELES!”
and the moment the movie was over i went to my computer immediately and googled the miracle project.

i shot a long and emotional email off to “coach e”, elaine hall, founder of the miracle project, practically begging to get mckenna involved somehow. a few days later, i heard back from someone who told me they were holding a week long day camp at the end of july, would i be able to make it up to santa monica everyday for a week?

no thought necessary. um yes.

and today is the first day! we are so excited, not only because i connected so deeply to the movie, but because i have been hoping and waiting and dreaming for something exactly like this for mckenna for a long time.

if you have a child in your life with special needs, i highly, highly recommend this movie. elaine hall was able to reach inside the children and pull out something beautiful, and typical, and incredibly special. i am tearing up just thinking of it, and i start to cry each time i watch the trailer.

here is one more interview the director did that shows some more clips from the documentary.

and now we are off to LA for the day-i cant wait to see how mckenna reacts and blossoms in this environment!