February 2011 : Vail, Colorado with Jalayne, Justin, and Jax.
There were so many wonderful firsts on this trip. My first time seeing falling snow and waking up to the world blanketed in white. MY FIRST TIME. It was magic. MAGIC! Our first time to Colorado. First time ice skating. (Or trying to, in my case.) First time skiing. First time in a jacuzzi in the snow. First time tubing in a blizzard. First time driving on ice. First time feeling the biting cold on my cheeks. First time vacationing with the Ladd family, but hopefully not the last.
We were able to go on this vacation knowing that Mckenna was safe at home with Grandma. Our initial plans had included her, but as the departure time got closer we realized just how difficult a trip like this would be for her. Jeff’s mom offered to keep her for us, and we are so very grateful for that help and support.
It is very, very painful for me to separate my family. I have always believed in the notion of ‘ohana – a Hawaiian term for family bound together. (“Nobody gets left behind.” – Lilo & Stitch.) But as my children age and the dynamics of our family change, I am seeing that it is important for us to separate from Mckenna at times. For her, and for us. She would have hated the cold, hated the unfamiliar, hated everything about it. She would have been miserable, and it would have made all of us miserable, and stressed. Instead, she was happy, and we were able to vacation the way we wanted to, without the sacrifices and limitations of caring for her, if only for a week.
My heart was in two places on this trip.
And it still kind of is.
xo Tara
So glad you enjoyed Colorado. It is an amazing place to live. I am sure my family will have the same experience when I take them from Colorado to the beach for the first time…hopefully sometime soon!
Beautiful trip… Love snapshots..
Love love love. P.S. You should have lived in Philadelphia this winter. Your snow fest would have lasted you a lifetime! ;)
I love the way you paired these photos, and I love that you made the difficult decision to very temporarily separate the family for the benefit of all of you. Hard but, as the photos attest, good. :) I have a soft spot in my heart for you and am so inspired by the way you live and document your lives and the lives of others. <3
Love these, Tara! Totally makes me miss the Minnesota winters! (well… some of them…)
This looks just amazing. The pictures tell the story so well. And McKenna had her grandma all to herself, how lucky wasnt she. :)
felt like i was right there with you guys. alot of fun going on there! you guys look good in the snow :)
What are your tricks for taking good photos in the snow?
The first time in falling snow? Ever? You’ve only started living. Glad your trip was so magical.
It’s so refreshing to hear someone speak so lovingly about snow. I’m like a little kid with every first snowfall and cursing it by month five, so this is a beautiful reminder of how awesome it is.
Also, Colorado is such a fun, beautiful place. Love visiting there!
i love them ALL! you look beautiful and content and in love. motherhood i find is a constant struggle. we are always compromising and splitting ourselves. it’s the ones that recognize the need for it and make appropriate times for it that are the best moms. we can’t do it all, all the time. glad all parts of the family go to enjoy.
Love that baby’s blue eyes! Sooo gorgeous!!
Hot tubbing in a blizzard is one of the only redeeming qualities of winter in the midwest! Looks like an awesome vacation!
Looks like a wonderful trip! I can’t imagine what it’s like to have never seen snow. I live in Canada and ours just finally melted until the next Spring snowstorm hits.
BTW, I think I have the same blue/grey stripped sweater that you’re wearing in one of your pictures. I’m wearing it right now and thought, hey, that looks familiar! Favourite sweater ever!
Great family memories!So get the struggles with vacationing without one of the kids. Our son has autism and, like McKenna, would NOT enjoy a trip like that. And although I so get that our other son deserves those fun family times, it is heartbreaking to leave Grant behind. But now I am inspired by you to make that happen!
wonderful pictures! I love being in the snow, doing all the things you described! What a great trip for your family!
ohana…she wasn’t left behind; she was very much included in your thoughts, and sheltered from a stressful situation. hugs
Love them all! Anna gets more gorgeous with every passing post. Love her little glasses!
wow. what a great trip. i am inspired by your bravery in motherhood. thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Hi Tara, this is my first time commenting on your blog after stalking it for months now :) These photos of your trip are amazing as are all of your shots. I can’t imagine having to make the decision that you did but respect you big time for it. Your last two lines made me tear up. Just want to say that you are an AMAZING mom, person and photographer. You are so real and raw which is why so many are drawn to you. Happy Mother’s Day!
Breastfeeding in the snow?! Love. I am learning that making decisions about and for your children are some of the hardest. You are a fantastic and loving mother. How do you do it all? Amazing.
I have been looking forward to these! I so wish my vacation photos looked like your vacation photos :). These are wonderful.
you all look happy and relaxed and she was happy and relaxed with her grandmother…no guilt Tara, she wasn’t left behind, she was just in a different place. totally love that you are so real in your words, so imperfect and so normal…you may not think it but you are. thanks for that. I love your work and your blog…very inspirational to all of us other imperfect people out there just trying to make our life count.
OM GOODNESS! You’re in Beaver Creek! My parents have had a place there since it opened. When nobody ever went there. It always floors me now that so many people vacation there too. We were there in March. I would have been so excited to have run into you and your sweet family!
Love them all. Most inspired by the cheeseburgers. I want to eat all of them except the one without meat. You are always so inspiring.
We have a planned split-up this summer too (my son to a camp for kids with aspergers, and the rest of the family camping near by) and I’m feeling really strange about it. . .thanks for sharing your positive experience :)
tara – these photos are amazing. i feel the love, i feel the cold, and i feel the warmth. you rock!
I can’t believe it’s your first time, there is nothing like the magical blanket of snow that quietens the earth. about Mckenna. you know best what she needs, so don’t let the “shoulds” get to you.
oh yeah, love the pics, especially the ones of them playing in the snow, they remind me of some dutch paintings I love
beautiful stuff, it is often hard to do the right thing. It is great that three of your children got to experience such an awesome week and that McKenna got to stay safe, warm and happy in her routine, best for everyone, yet still hard, good for you.
I’ve been saying this to my kids a lot this week: Fair isn’t giving everyone the same thing, it is giving everyone what they need. Kudos to you for thinking carefully about what each of your children needs.
I’m happy you had such a great time in my state, Colorado. I’ve only been here 5 years but I love it so very much. And I understand the family dynamics and the choice you had to make. It’s not easy but you get through. :)
jacuzzi in the snow? whoa. now THAT sounds awesome! :)
She breast fed in the snow?? I’m impressed, but I feel for her at the same time! COLD!
[I’ve not read any of the previous comments]
I know these changes are very hard for you [I hear it in your words,]but I think some of it is a normal process for life changes. As kids grow and change and have their own interests, so do the family dynamics. Our boys are older now, and while we all still enjoy traveling together some of the time, there are times when we’re heading out with just one [or they head out on a trip without us] – and everyone’s happy. We were ‘gifted’ with the time they gave us on a trip to Disney [world] in December – as they’re spending less and less time with us [they’re in their early 20s already – yikes!!] the gift of time together is the best gift they can give us. Individually or together – we’re still family.
i loved this series, tara. gosh, i know what you mean… i feel like my heart is always in 2 places nowadays. you are the best mom for mckenna and the choices you make for her and for your family are always right because you listen to your instincts and your heart; this always wins.
What a beautiful way to honor your children individually. And an incredibly mature and selfless parental decision. Good for you guys!
These are wonderful.. and it sounds like you all had a great time doing what you wanted too. including McKenna.. but I know what you mean.. it has to be a hard decision.. but it worked out well for everyone.. yay…
Ohhh Tara – these are beautiful. Isn’t Colorado the best? My dad and his family are all from Colorado. I have very fond memories of skiing there and spending my summers there with my grandmother. It is a very special and magical place. I’m so glad you got to experience it with your kiddos. I know it was hard to leave McKenna behind but like you said, she was happier at home. Hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day. Lots of love.
if ever ANYONE questions your decision to leave mckenna safely and happily with grandma tell them this for me. FUCK OFF. you do what is best for YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY. no one can or should EVER judge you for that. no one but YOU is living your life on a day to day basis. no one but YOU knows what it is like to walk in your shoes. until they have a situation exactly like yours, anyone who has anything negative to say can just fuck off. want to know how i REALLY feel about this issue?? ;-)
now, on to your amazing photos. LOVE. i want to be part of your family. i want to vacation with you! we live our lives in similar ways, i think. enjoying, soaking it all in, living to the fullest. there is no other way to be.
oh so good tara. love seeing your family photos and detail shots.
love the pictures, or more importantly the smiles in them. I love the inspiring way you share your thoughts. love that its so clear that mckenna wasn’t really left behind but that everyone got what they needed most. surely that is what pulls a family together? Being your own kind of family and doing what is right for you. You’re an inspiration! :)
Those burgers … look … AMAZING :) Doesn’t help that I’m hungry! Great photos, looks like you had a great time!
beautiful, tara. sounds like both your heart and your head knew what was needed for all of you… good mama! xo
I love that you think you were tubing in a blizzard! Us midwesterners all got a chuckle. Snow is really something I would miss but when spring gets here I am the first one sportin my white legs in shorts to celebrate winters end. Looks like you had a ton of fun
looks like you guys had an amazing trip. The lodge reminds me of “The Overlook Hotel”.
oh Tara, I LOVED seeing snow through your eyes. As a Canadian who is so tired of snow (we had a storm last week, snow in MAY!) I see it as a cold, blazing nuisance and I want to live on a warm beach.
However, your pictures and story reminded me of how beautiful and wonderous snow can be.
Thanks for sharing, it always great to see your family pictures (even though I missed seeing McKenna and Uniqua, I know that she probably had a great time being an only child with Grandma, I know those were times I always cherised).
Dee
ps. love your glasses
Awww Anna is looking more and more like you every day!
Looks like you had a ball :) I love seeing your family, especially through your eyes. :D
Amy – tubing in a blizzard was not photographed – obviously – we were in a blizzard! ;) The photos above were when snow was lightly falling and it was just so peaceful out.
Haven’t been to your blog in a while, and always amazed to see how much your kids have grown each time. It is fantastic to see your family having so much fun together