our family has a constant struggle with what to eat come dinner-time. with a dad who gets home at 6:30 or 7pm when he isnt working from home, a mom who is exhausted by 4:30pm, (who am i kidding i’m exhausted by noon), and four kids with distinctly different and varying picky-ness levels, AND about 25 food choices in our immediate neighborhood, our easy answer most times is TAKE-OUT! or DRIVE-THRU!
and i know we are not alone in our plight.
because i see all of “you” at the pick-up and drive-thru line too.
for the last few years we have struggled to change this pattern and have had long phases where we eat at home but those phases have been slowly phasing out and we have been too weak, oblivious, or lazy to stop it. or all of the above.
but there is a change brewing in me and i can feel it. i have never felt this way before. usually i just do it because i know i should-not because i want to. but now, i have the greatest desire to gather my family around our little white table and serve them meals we have planned, shopped for, and cooked. together. with summer coming, it means a lot is coming OFF of our plates. so i am going to focus that extra time towards this, so some yummy things go ONTO our plates.
my goal is to plan simply. cook simply. and eat simply.
wednesday night i sat everyone down at the table and talked to them about the changes i wanted to make. i told them that the way we are eating now is so sad to me. that they arent experiencing the amazing food our world has to offer. that they are choosing to limit themselves to chicken nuggets and french fries and carrots and strawberries and they SHOULD NOT BE OKAY WITH leaving it at that. i told them that they were old enough now, even anna, to open themselves up and to stop being afraid of food that looks different and smells different. and we talked about the things i loved to eat-they asked me what my favorites were and what i would like to cook. and i asked them what theirs were, and what they would like to cook. and we made up a sketchy plan that i am going to solidify on my own.
i also made sure that they knew the table was going to be a safe place for them. if something we tried made them want to recoil in horror, it was okay. the point is going to be placed on working together, and trying new things together. if the food is a failure, a bowl of cereal and a banana is an easy option. they will have to take care of it themselves, but it is an option.
and the last thing we talked about is how our meals dont always have to be super delicious-thus the simple coming out-the flavors and options when eating out are limitless and broad. they need to start expecting less on a daily basis (something i need to keep telling myself too) and learn that eating out is for sometimes. its an exception, not a rule.
what it boils down to is this-
we will together make a list of what sounds good to eat that week, or that day (however it best works for us)
we will choose what meals we want to be in charge of
we will go to the store together, each with our own lists, and help each other buy what we need
when its time to cook, i will be in the kitchen with the kid in charge and the other kids will set the table and then clear out of our way
whoever doesnt cook helps clear the table and the kitchen when dinner is over
and they were all for it. they were excited about it in fact. nathan wants to learn how to make his own orange chicken. anna wants to bbq. and drew wants to learn how i make spaghetti sauce. our dear mckenna will also be a part of this plan, but i will slot her into things she can handle because being near a stove is not a safe place for her. im thinking maybe she will be a great shopper and table setter. she loves having a job, so a job we will find for her. if she cant do the cooking or cutting she can mix and set up.
the other thing i do, and have been doing for a long time, is making healthy options easily accessible. i have bowls of cut up fruit and raw veggies in my fridge. whole fruit in bowls on the counter. healthy snacks on the top shelf of the pantry. before dinner or lunch, i like to cut a bunch up and prepare it as pictured. they come to the table and munch and chat with me while i finish making their meal. this is also a great thing to do when you have several pieces of fruit about to go bad. cut it all up and offer it up for a snack before it goes.
now, i think perhaps the reason they were so open to this is because without realizing it, jeff and i have been gearing up for a change like this. i can think of several instances on vacation in hawaii last december where jeff got them all to try something they had never tried before. or even broadening our dinner choices by getting chinese take-out instead of mexican again. and them finding things they liked there. i definitely give him the credit for pushing this before i hopped on board. i tend to tune out tokyo until i am ready to go full fledged.
i also want to say that i would never have tried this five or six years ago. it does help that our children are growing up. anna will be six in january. the youngest. and she tends to want to follow along with what the boys are doing so that helps. it just makes me sad to think of what i didnt know when i became a mother. but i have to accept that i made the best decisions with the knowledge i had then. even though now, looking back, i would have done so many things differently. but we are all just making it the best way we can. and i accept that too.
oh and hey, i would LOVE to get linked to some great simple kids cooking sites, or any ideas at all you think might help us out!
Good for you. Personally, I loooove chicken nuggets (I swear they put crack in those babies) and it was/is a major struggle to eat right. Just a note, my parents are older and they have 3 very young children and they used to eat out a lot because it was easier. Well, in 2006 we planned a huge, expensive family vacation to Disney World. Money was an issue. We realized that eating in was much cheaper in the long run than eating out. One day, we sat down and calculated how much we spent as a family everytime we went to each fast food place. Then, everytime we planned a menu and chose to eat at home we added the difference between the cost of the meal into a jar. By the time we went on vacation in 2007, we had enough money from the jar to pay for the rental house and give everyone (13 people) $100.00 in spending money.
what an inspiration! i have a two year old and i think i should start getting my butt in gear now so we develop the best habits possible. i love the kraft site – has fun fresh ideas that everyone will love (http://kraftfoods.com). good luck! love the idea for a ‘fruit snack’ and the picture is cute too!
My daughter was a McDonald’s junkie for years until she got food poisoning from eating a bad Happy Meal 3 years ago. She was sick beyond sick and has never, ever, ever asked for fast food since then. It was a horrible way to break the habit, but heck, it worked.
My daughter will be 13 in October and she has really opened herself up to new foods in the last few months. One of her favorites right now is quesadillas with pico de gallo and guacamole from the Pioneer Woman’s recipe site. I’ve also found that if she helps me cook something she is more willing to try it. So far we haven’t found anything she doesn’t really like.
This sounds like a great plan…can’t wait to hear how it works out for you all!
You are inspiring! I love how real and honest you are with me, the reader!!
You have given me some great ideas, and although my little family is younger than yours, I think that some of these ideas will work for us, and for that I am so excited!!
Thanks for the real-life stuff that you put on your blog. You keep things interesting, that’s for sure!!
;)
OOO I so need this especially with costs skyrocketing. On another note I finished a project and the kitchen painting is well sort of almost done…I know what you’re thinking better late than never right? Here’s the first one I’ll let you know when the kitchen is done. http://patriciastuever.blogspot.com/
I just blogged about the very subject today. Not so much in the specific terms … with a list, but my thoughts on it. It’s crazy – my parents never took my four siblings and I out for dinner. when they did it was truly special and we appreciated it. My kids take it for granted. in a city with so many options, it’s easier, but not always the right thing. I’m digging in to the homemade route too – even if it’s just sandwhiches or a bowl of cereal for dinner some nights, it’s not in a restaurant for me ANYMORE. thanks Tara. I like coming here. :)
You go girl!
I notice reading blogs that there is a lot more eating out (generalising!!) by american families than Australian ones. We eat out once a week – breakfast at our fav cafe… other than that .. it is home! I would say tho working ALOT of hours and juggling life and family AND cooking a meal for dinner can be a struggle sometimes! I have begun making more of some meals, and freezing it. AND spending a Sunday afternoon cooking 3 or 4 dishes at once, but preparing enough to two dinners in each. Some dishes actually taste better if they have been allowed to cool and reheated. Spaghetti bolognese is awesome to freeze and reheat, lamb casserole and beef bourguignon (huge hit with the family).. We only cook the meat portion and then it is a matter of making pasta/rice plus loads of vegetables on the day :) Cuts back on washing up too making it more managable for children. GOOD LUCK and well done Tara… :)
We get our kids to eat fruits & veggies with every meal, even breakfast. When we go to McD, we substitute fries with salad. Very seldom we give the kids candies or pop (my kids go giddy when other moms give them a treat like that) and my kids asked me for permission if they could have them. Halloween candies are given away. I can’t say I know what you guys are going through with this change (no struggles for us introducing healthier food but then we started them young) but it’s for the good. It’s never too late to start. Good luck, Tara.
Oh good for you girl. We have been focusing on healthy family options here too. Summer is so hard, as it is excruciatingly hot here in Phoenix. I usually can’t bear to cook the things I love. However I’m not giving up.
We have places in the pantry where the kids can get whatever they want/whenever they want. Fruit and veggies are always ok. They have access to these items and more as I’ve noticed healthy snacks are so important.
I’m proud of the kids too. Have you thought of taking pictures of each of the meals they make as a way to re-enforce their experiment? Maybe even post them here (or on a different blog?). I did this for a while and it really seemed to help.
Thumbs up girl!
Take them to the farmer’s market too, my kids love that place. The pick things out and then we research what we will make with it. Last week they ate three ears of sweet corn before we even left. Just peeled the husks off and ate them! LOVED it.
Good for you!!! We have been on the fast-food/take-out roller coaster for a long time too. Sadly, it’s so up to the parents to change what the kids eat. And we’re worn out from our jobs much less thinking about what’s good to eat for dinner! Planning is the key. We’re gonna eat what’s available. Especially when we’re tired and hungry. A friend of mine cooks a lot of their meats on the grill on Sundays and either puts them in the fridge or freezer to heat up during the week. It works for them. We need to follow suite. That was really encouraging. Thanks a bunch, Tara!!! p.s. I once heard a preacher on tv saying we should never let ourselves get too hungry, too tired, too lonely or too angry because that’s when we give in to temptation. So true!!!
Good for you! We all learn as we go on I think.I was never a fast food “junKie”, but there were enough times that I did hit the drive thrus for a quick breakfast or dinner – and have paid in several health areas( let alone budget!!) I now grow alot of my own veggies at a local community college here in OC and I share with alot of my friends- their kids love to get the tiny french zucchini( little round ones )and NO salmonella on MY tomatoes!!! LOL
Presentation is also great- love the shot of the fruit all cut up like that.
I have a great recipie for homemade chicken nuggets- the kids would probably get a kick out if learning that they can make them at home. Email me if you are interested.
Looking forward to read more about this as time goes on.
Coincidentally, I’ve come to a similar decision. I just became self-employed today after working for a corp for 9 years… And having my 2.5 yo daughter eat at drive-throughs on the way home from daycare, because she couldn’t wait for a home cooked meal when we got home. I decided now that I’m a SAHM/WAHM, I want to plan healthy meals for us, so we always know what we’re going to have instead of scrambling last minute. You are an inspiration! I will be following you you do!
My husband and I have been trying this since the beginning of the year. It takes only a few minutes of prep to get it rolling. It has been fun so far and I have lost 21 lbs. and he has lost 14 lbs.
I totally get where you are coming from tara.
i am going to buy the bento lunchs, have you heard of those?
they are the lunch buckets with the special containers for packing healthy
and getting them to take different stuff. neither of my girls will eat school
lunches, nor do i really want them to. if i could run something healthy and hot
to them each day i would. i could, but the school won’t let me!!!
the best thing that i have made in the past that they LOVE is: strawberry, apple
and either blackberry or blueberry smoothies. i mix in a bit of milk, oj and yogurt too.
you can even add protein powder or wheat germ. and lots of people add spinach which i am going
to try SOON! they just LOVE THEM! it would be really cool if all the people who come to your blog
can leave ideas and we can all benefit from that!!!
thanks t!
tara
This makes me want to do the same. Meaning, making healthy SIMPLE food. My problem, as you know, isn’t take out. We eat out roughly once every two to three months…. however, i make stuff that no kid in his right mind would ever want to try. You know?
Hell, they won’t even LICK most of what i make.
Love you.
forgot to say that we have three kids. The oldest is 6, youngest is 10 months old. Yesterday the older two asked for, wait for it… wait for it… SALAD for lunch! That is all they wanted.
It was that moment that I knew it was working. Sure it has taken us a few years of working at it but they now ask for salad on their own.
We don’t make meals a fighting issue. We ask them to take a “thank you bite”.
Thank You Bite: everyone must try every meal. One bite. They either say, “thank you, no thank you” or “thank you, I’ll have more.”
Research shows children need to try foods like 20 times (don’t quote me on the exact number) before they feel comfortable with the times. Try them raw, cooked, dipped (LOVE HUMMUS) and mixed in other foods.
Okay, now I’m going to be quite. I’m so the girl who can’t stop talking.
You’re a great mom! There are lots of good things that will come from your new plan! Good luck!
we talk about healty choices all the time. My 11 year old daughter wants to eat like her 8 year old brother, but she doesn’t move her body nearly as much as he does! Luckily, my kids will try anything, and I mean anything.
Yep. Yep.Yep.
I bought the same blue plates at Target as pictured just so I could force myself to fill the spots with well-rounded goodness for the kiddos. (though the middle spot for ketchup totally counts most nights for the vegetable-ugh).
I applaud your design; Having a kid in charge is such a wonderful way to get them invested in making healthy choices instead of imposing your new “change” on them.
be well.
I love that your website is so inspirational! I come for the beautiful pictures and LOVE the posts. What a great idea to start eating healthy(er). We just moved to Hawaii and that was our changing point. There are so many amazing cuisines and flavors out there that it seemed a shame to have my 4 year-old living on chicken nuggets.
Go Tara!
Yeah for you Tara! Maybe you can borrow some of Emily’s recipes….they looks simple, tasty and nutritious! We do the same thing here: I don’t serve two meals, you can’t complain about the food, you have to taste it and not spit it out in horror or gag and if you don’t like it, you can get your own fruit, cheese, bread/butter (on your own). You also have to thank the Chef:) Some days are better than others for sure. Remember it’s a process….
Happy Cooking!
Michelle
I forgot to add:
This website (lunchinabox.net) is great for healthy packed lunches. Kind of different and really beautiful presented–I could see you taking killer pictures of these!
Yum – I spent $10 at Publix just now because your fruit looks so great! We are trying to eat healthier – it kind of comes & goes in waves but for all of our sakes, it needs to just be the way things are. Good luck!
I had the same epiphany this week. I am so sick of eating out that even if we have cereal for dinner it’s better for my girls than chicken nuggets and FF. IMO, it’s getting the both parents to work on the same goal. If I leave dinner to my DH his first option is pizza, taco bell or chicken nuggets. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! What I have been trying to focus on is have a healthier lunch and not worry so much about having the big traditional meal for dinner. GOOD LUCK, I look forward to read more about how it all works out.
this is so great! we rarely go out but we usually eat the same five things in rotation so i have been trying to add something new every week…it adds a little variety to the week o’ food…also i’ve been trying to remember what it sounds like you told your kids ‘every meal doesn’t have to be the best meal ever’ (or something like that)…i tend to try for a meal that i know i will love every time, instead of trying something new…& you’re right summer is the perfect time to start…farmers market here i come:)
this is so great! we rarely go out but we usually eat the same five things in rotation so i have been trying to add something new every week…it adds a little variety to the week o’ food…also i’ve been trying to remember what it sounds like you told your kids ‘every meal doesn’t have to be the best meal ever’ (or something like that)…i tend to try for a meal that i know i will love every time, instead of trying something new…& you’re right summer is the perfect time to start…farmers market here i come:)…ps i will be curious to know if you save money with this change…i think most people would tend to think you would, but with value meals & stuff i just wonder…i don’t know if you will share that info with us but i would love to know:)
ugh! sorry about the double post (& now allow me to make it triple)…i did add something to the end but didn’t realize it would…oh never mind…have a lovely day!
Yeah! We can work on it together! And we can go shopping at Trader Joe’s and we can get a whole bunch of fresh fruit and it will be awesome! :-) Doesn’t that plate just look so yummy? hmmm
great ideas tara! i need to work on this more too. i love how you sat the kids down and explained about not being afraid to try new things. excellent. this may have already been mentioned, but i was given the “deceptively delicious” cookbook by jessica seinfeld for christmas. it is really good, not only to get more veggies into your family’s meals, but it also has a lot of good tips, she mentions putting cut up fruit or veggies out before dinner. another good one is serving sloppy joes in hot dog buns. my girls love that and more importantly they eat their food. anywho, check it out.
I linked over to your blog from Lisa’s. I recently heard a great idea to steer kids away from Happy Meals…Let your kids decorate several brown lunch bags (crayons, markers, stickers, stamps), buy a bunch of little toys from 99 cent stores and make a homemade lunch, put the lunch in the decorated bag with a surprise toy. Sounds fun!
Tara….your last paragraph is so so good and so powerful.
This posting makes me happy and sad(a good sad) at the same time.
thanks:)
T, I think this will be great. I’d be curious to find out if you feel like your energy level changes eating healthier. We often menu plan, it just makes evening so much calmer… to know what’s for dinner!! Wesley is way picky, but we’ve gotten him to try artichoke, alaskan king crab, even edged some veggies into his tacos… we’re constantly working on “trying new things”. Funny, but my little one, Campbelle, eats anything… we’ve always just taken food off of our plate to share with her. I try to catch Food Network a couple times a month to get new ideas.(Rachel Ray is easy stuff, 30 min. meals-I have one of her cookbooks too & some recipes sound funky, but actually taste great!) Food Network has a website and a section with cooking with kids ideas (not all incredibly healthy… but fun kid ideas).
Here’s the link: http://search.foodnetwork.com/food/recipe/cooking+with+kids/search.do?searchString=cooking+with+kids&site=food&gosearch=&searchType=Recipe
I know that there are cookbooks out there with fun kid recipes… I’m sure amazon would have a ton.
I feel you on this too! Even though we don’t have kids, Chris and I can be terribly lazy by the end of the day sometimes. One of our saviors lately has been Trader Joe’s frozen meals – their Chinese food is the best! Then all you have to do is boil rice, its awesome.
You’ll probably hate me for sharing this photo, but here you go: http://recoveringfirecracker.squarespace.com/blog/2008/6/13/im-a-fan.html
Good luck with this!!
Wow, girl, you are awesome!! I’m sitting here eating half a bag of cheetos talking myself out of cooking dinner, so this is just what I needed to read. I need to make it a priority for ME, so it can be a priority for my kids when I have them. You’re awesome! Can’t wait to hear about the followups.
Tara, this hit home for me big time. My small family (one kiddo who is 6) was eating…. not so healthy. A year ago we moved to Okinawa, Japan for 3 years. I feared my kid would starve to death because they did not have grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken nuggets at the restaurants. (by the way – they do have chicken nuggets – but that’s not the point) I prepared her for the fact that we’d be eating new foods and would have to be open minded and adventurous. My husband is pretty picky and wasn’t keeping the healthiest habits either, and though I love all kinds of food – even healthy stuff – because he wouldn’t eat it, I succumbed to the masses. A few months ago, my father-in-law passed away from a massive heart attack. The change in my husband was a commitment to NOT die at 64 like his dad. It’s not perfect now, but they’ve come a LONG way. Now broccoli and green beans are part of our dinners. Grilled chicken and even shrimp have entered my daughter’s diet. Hubby’s ok with fish and much less salt. Fast food/junk food is a treat, not the norm. We often take walks after dinner now too.
For lunch ideas, the Japanese really have some great ideas, by the way: OBENTO! Check out this blog post with the links, some great lunch ideas that are healthy and SO much fun to make & eat! http://www.okinawahai.com/my_weblog/2008/02/grouchy-bf-bent.html
Thank you. You’re just so real and so fun to read and watch. I hope your blurkers like me help to keep you on the path.
In our house, I was getting tired of making two meals (adult, kid) SO, I only offer the adult meal and the kids have to try. If they don’t like, they are free to help themselves to yogurt, fruit, and/or cheese. It has the kids trying new foods, I only cook one meal, and of course, I make sure to make kid-friendly meals several nights a week. Of course, we are often in the take-out line every once in a while, too! Good changes!
We’ve been trying to implement some similar strategies around here, too. I’ve been trying to keep healthy options as the majority of the snack offerings. I’m also trying to make as much stuff from scratch as I can. Homemade hummus, ranch dip made from Greek yogurt (OMG, the freaking holy grail of dips and *full* of protein), that sort of thing. Even cookies-hey, I’d rather know what’s in them. :) Good job, momma!
I have also struggled with this with my oldest child. Luckily my 2 year old will eat any and everything–even things that I don’t eat! I’m looking forward to hearing how it goes. That is awesome that your kids are all on board too!
I am super proud of you! It is really hard to be consistent with this and I will be rooting you on! I also in the last few years have been way better with serving my kids more “whole foods”….meaning less preservatives, dyes and a bunch of crap that my ADD family does not need. I choose to not have my son on medicine for this and with changes in his diet and other things we have seen lots of changes. I told my kids that I have to take care of my heart and so should they….meaning eating more healthy and being more active. This past year when I hit 30 I have actually made this stick. My dad passed when I was 7 with heart disease and my kids, husband and I do not deserve this just as my family did not. So, I will be praying for you guys and your healthy changes. smile :)
I’m right there with you! Now that school is out, I’m going to plant a garden & grow some veggies. I want to eat at home and less fast food. How funny that you post this…This is first on my summer to-do list! Fast food is so easy, but it makes you feel so sluggish, I know that first hand. Good for you and your family. If you feel inspired to blog about what you’re cooking for dinner, I would love some suggestions.
good luck! it’s a lot of work but worth it. home cooked food is so much better tasting. i’ve got a killer orange chicken recipe if you want it from the Take Home Chef.
Cheers!
ok, so you have to try out “Fresh and Fast” by Marie Simmons. It is the best cookbook, hands down I have ever used. Simple, easy to make and even easier to eat- I have picky kids and there is something in this book we all can eat with no complaining ,carrying on or whining. Lots of good stuff in here with no wild ingredients, we love the black bean and veggie burritos as well as the lemon-basil chicken with the green bean and potato salad. Good luck on your new venture!
You go girl.
Good luck, Tara! What’s worked well in keeping me on top of the take-out monster is having a healthy “back-up” meal ready to go in the freezer or the refrigerator in case I get too tired to make something at the end of the day.
http://lunchinabox.net/
reusablebags.com
very cool sites!
these are for lunches for schooL!
tara
wow, we have been so much in the same boat – especially these past few months! daddy-o got a new job that feeds him lunch and dinner – and i found myself heading for a drive thru more often than not these days!
so inspiring! i’m sitting my crew down tonight! (over homemade pizza!)
Tara – this is a great plan. Similar to what I did when my kids were little. I had two picky eaters and didn’t care. I loved cooking and trying new recipes. So, some things I did:
1. If we had something new on our plate, there was always at least one thing that I knew they would eat (like fruit).
2. The rule was at least one bite of everything (actually when they were little, if they wanted seconds, they had to at least eat as many bites as they were years old – 4 years old, at least 4 bites)
3. There was something new introduced at least twice a week to continuously explore new flavors.
4. And this was VERY important for them when they were younger – I kept notes. Yes, notes. Beside every new recipe I noted who liked what. So, the next time a month later if I made that recipe again and one of them would say, “ewww, I don’t like this” (before trying it of course), I would bring out my recipe book with the notes and read to them what they said about it the last time. That put a stop to them assuming distaste immediately. Eventually, they started asking me, “what did I say about this last time?” before commenting…
5. And finally – the result – two grown kids (20 and 17) who now eat anything and everything – from calamari to sushi to Chino Banditos Mexican Chinese food.
I could have written this post myself. Word for word. No kidding. Are you my evil twin? :)
Oh…and…YOU GO GIRL! :)