xoxo

(This could be you:)

Once I wrapped up my last clients of 2011 I dove headfirst into making Christmas everything it could be for my kids. Then, on New Years Eve, I got really, really sick. I just today came up for a breath of air.

I feel like I have been running with my head down for the last four months. Running to clients, running to pick up kids, running to drop off kids, running to make lunch, running to a teacher meeting, running to buy birthday party supplies, running to get my camera fixed, running to make dinner, running to the doctor, running to visit a friend, running to behavioral therapy for Mckenna, running to the airport, running home, running to the bank, running to a school function, running to the store for more toilet paper…just running, running, running.

And I want to stop.

And I want to catch my breath.

The last few days while sick in bed, I took a cold hard look at my life, and it has suffered. I have gained weight. We are eating out too much. I am not writing. I have not done any of the projects I wanted to do. We aren’t spending enough time putting energy and thought into our lives. We are just making it.

I honestly don’t know how everyone else does it. I look around and it seems like everyone else is working their asses off, making home cooked meals for their kids, redecorating their homes, redesigning websites, setting up shops, chasing their dreams, losing weight, running marathons, taking quick trips, going on dates, building tree forts, learning to kickbox….and I am just watching it all whiz by in awe while clutching my six year old branding and sage green walls and child bearing hips.

I want to spend some time on myself. I want to get this house in order. I want to take bags upon bags upon bags to Goodwill. I want to stop holding onto things for my perfect house and someday. I want to get my branding finished, (I LOVE IT), and get my new websites created. I want to spend time making healthy food. I want my body to work better. I want to learn how to do new things. I want to take my kids to the park. I want to take pictures of us. Do you know that I took a shockingly low number of pictures of my own family this year? I hate that.

Right now, I have a chance. January is notoriously slow for portrait photographers. So I am taking it.

I am going radio silent on the blog until I feel like I have some things back under control. I have got to cut something out. I heavily feel the weight of the silence here, and I just need to say something so I don’t stress about it anymore. I am not going to be posting. I am not going to be thinking of meaningful content. I am not going to be editing photos for other people.

I will catch my breath. And I will come back. Soon.

For now, if you wish, you can keep up with us on my snapshots blog: I don’t want to forget a thing, where my iphone photos are automagically shared.

Until I feel more alive,
Tara

He’s almost here!

Love, The Whitneys

After expressing my thoughts in my last post, I wanted to share the rest of the session. While I was particularly drawn to the images that I shared before, and want to work with people who also appreciate and value that type of photography, I have many other favorites from our time together.

“Not looking” can make a shot really unique and personal. However, getting them to look at you can be a special kind of challenge, and therefore, a special kind of satisfaction. What I personally want to fight against is the idea that if one or more people aren’t making a pleasant face at the photographer, if the photo is imperfect in some way, that means the photo isn’t worthy of framing or sharing or loving. Those are usually my favorite and the most important to me down the road. Even if a child is having a crap day – well, okay then – we all have crap days. That is what is honest. That is what is unique about them. That is the very reason for freezing your family at any moment in time, in my eyes. More so, a thousand TIMES more so, than the image with everyone looking with a perfect face into the camera.

I get it. Grandma wants that one for her fridge. So I take it, and I give it. Always.

My purpose is to show you what your love looks like, and how the world sees you – and have fun doing it. That can only come with a much fuller picture of who you are.

*

Back to this rad family:

We explored The High Line and then got some cupcakes. The kids had a great time despite the weather. It was a gloomy day with sporatic raindrops and really cold wind. Not my typical conditions, but I actually loved the dark grittiness of it. It was good to have a change of pace and good to stretch myself.

At the end of our session, we asked this taxi driver if we could take a photo by his car. He was sooo into it, as you can see, he even let Dad get in the driver’s seat. Such a kind, friendly man. This was a particular treat for their oldest daughter, who LOVES cars, especially taxis.

Later that day, I got this text from Mom: “Ella just said – wait – Tara is a photographer? I thought she was just our new friend!”

And that – means EVERYTHING.

-Tara

(This is the second time I have been able to meet up with them, only the first time there were only three of them, and it was in San Francisco.)

While figuring out what I wanted to post today, I realized I was drawn to the images that included their whole family, which is actually rare for me. But I realized it was because they weren’t all trying to look or smile at the camera for me. They were just THERE. And that is what I was drawn to.

FYI : I don’t think that everyone has to be looking at the camera to make a family photo meaningful.

In fact, I hope they won’t be.